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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Just landed via Twitch:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Live now on Instagram:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Just landed via Threads:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

95 Funny welcome quotes

Funny welcome quotes 🤗✨ add a splash of humor to any gathering, setting the perfect tone for good times and laughter 😂. Whether you’re hosting a party, starting a meeting, or just greeting someone at the door 🚪, these witty one-liners are sure to break the ice 🧊 and get everyone smiling. Dive into a world where humor meets hospitality, and let the giggles begin 🎉!

New funny welcome quotes 👇

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All funny welcome quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Discord this month:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had too much to think last night.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh good. Another day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Live now on Slack:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Spotted on WeChat:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Shared recently on Slack:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

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