46 Funny yesterday quotes

• Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

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  2 weeks ago

  childhood, everyone, forgetfulness, humor, landline, memory, nostalgia, number, password, people, phone, phone number, recall, shoutout, technology, yesterday

• Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

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  2 weeks ago

  barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday

• For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

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  2 weeks ago

  again, am, exhaustion, humor, i, retired, retirement, tired, today, wondering, yes, yesterday

• I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

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  1 month ago

  bedtime, before, day, even, every, hope, human, humans, humor, i, insomnia, management, midnight, normal, normal human, procrastination, sleep, time, time management, today, tomorrow, yesterday

• My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

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  2 months ago

  Amazon, anything, delivery, driver, humor, knock, misunderstanding, morning, ok, order, sure, us, wife, yesterday

• Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

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  2 months ago

  chore, dishwasher, excuse, humor, just, parenting, please, pray, prayer, son, tired, unloading, yesterday

• Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

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  2 months ago

  beat, beating, broke, everywhere, found, harder, home, humor, joke, laziness, me, motivation, nothing, robbery, search, telling, thief, work, yesterday

• I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

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  2 months ago

  anger, annoyance, breathing, daily, daily routine, frustration, got, hate, humor, i, know, list, lot, mad, me, routine, sarcasm, sigh, someone, something, yesterday

• Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

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  2 months ago

  craving, diet, food, food craving, grocery, grocery store, home, humor, i, irony, junk, junk food, mad, store, temptation, yesterday

• “What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

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  2 months ago

  actually, comedy, daily, daily grind, fresh, frustration, grind, hell, humor, irony, repetition, same, sarcasm, yesterday

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