41 Funny yesterday quotes — Wordgag ツ

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

1 month ago1 month ago

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

2 months ago2 months ago

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

2 months ago2 months ago

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

2 months ago2 months ago

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

3 months ago3 months ago

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

3 months ago3 months ago

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

3 months ago3 months ago

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

3 months ago3 months ago

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

4 months ago4 months ago

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

5 months ago5 months ago

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

6 months ago6 months ago

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Mar 18, 2025

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Mar 18, 2025Mar 18, 2025

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Mar 17, 2025

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Mar 17, 2025

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Mar 14, 2025Mar 14, 2025

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Feb 25, 2025

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Feb 3, 2025Feb 3, 2025

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Jan 28, 2025