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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Spotted on Facebook:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Trending via Slack:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Seen just now on X:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Breaking via Instagram:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Just landed via Messenger:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

48 Funny yesterday quotes

Funny yesterday quotes add a humorous twist to reflections on the past! 🕰️😂 From witty remarks about what happened yesterday to playful observations on our memories, these quotes capture the lighter side of looking back. Enjoy a laugh and find the humor in yesterday’s moments! 😄📅

New funny yesterday quotes 👇

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

5 days ago

faster, growth, humble, humor, mistake, nothing, pride, proud, reread, self-reflection, something, writing, yesterday
Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

5 days ago

asked, boss, conversation, humor, i, job, living, me, question, work, yesterday
Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

6 days ago

childhood, everyone, forgetfulness, humor, landline, memory, nostalgia, number, password, people, phone, phone number, recall, shoutout, technology, yesterday
Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

6 days ago

barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday
For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

6 days ago

again, am, exhaustion, humor, i, retired, retirement, tired, today, wondering, yes, yesterday
I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

6 days ago

bedtime, before, day, even, every, hope, human, humans, humor, i, insomnia, management, midnight, normal, normal human, procrastination, sleep, time, time management, today, tomorrow, yesterday
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

6 days ago

Amazon, anything, delivery, driver, humor, knock, misunderstanding, morning, ok, order, sure, us, wife, yesterday
Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

7 days ago

chore, dishwasher, excuse, humor, just, parenting, please, pray, prayer, son, tired, unloading, yesterday
Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

7 days ago

beat, beating, broke, everywhere, found, harder, home, humor, joke, laziness, me, motivation, nothing, robbery, search, telling, thief, work, yesterday
I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

7 days ago

anger, annoyance, breathing, daily, daily routine, frustration, got, hate, humor, i, know, list, lot, mad, me, routine, sarcasm, sigh, someone, something, yesterday

For even more funny yesterday quotes, hit next 👇

All funny yesterday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on TikTok this month:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

82 shares on X this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Spotted on X:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Shared recently on Slack:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Going viral on YouTube:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

May the algorithms be with you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

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