Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.
  • Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.
  • Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.
  • I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.
  • I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.
  • How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.