Trendy Funny Quotes

  • When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.
  • I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.
  • I like to take long walks away from stupid people.
  • My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
  • When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.
  • I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.