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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

40 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Making waves on Messenger:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Reported on TikTok:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

6 months ago

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

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Commentary:
"Grandparents: the masterminds behind the chaos, the architects of mischief, the professors of shenanigans! 😂👴🏼👵🏼 They're like the original influencers, except instead of trendy dance moves, they teach you how to tie shoelaces together and blame it on the cat. 😜🐱 Embrace the wisdom, embrace the chaos! 🙌 #GrandparentLife"

fun, grandparent, help, kids, mischief, own, stupid, stupid things, teach, things, think, trouble

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

40 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Spotted on TikTok:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Going viral on WeChat:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Making waves on X:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Going viral on Instagram:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Just shared via Twitch:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

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