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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Live now on Threads:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Just landed via Threads:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Shared recently on Discord:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Making waves on WeChat:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Breaking via X:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Just landed via Snapchat:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

2 months ago

0

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Mr. Pepper went from a regular seasoning to a scientific superstar! 🌶️🔬 Who knew studying bubbles could pop his name into the fizzy limelight? Sounds like his research added some serious "fizz" to his reputation! 🌟🥤 #FizzicsGenius

fizzics, funny name, groundbreaking, humor, mr., Mr. Pepper, name, only, pepper, pun, research, science

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

0

2 months ago

activity, cinema, culture, egérmozi, films, fun, fun activity, Hungarian, means, modern, modern culture, mouse, mouse cinema, phone, shows, slang, watching, watching films, word
Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

0

2 months ago

bro, entertainment, got, humor, internet, just, phone, play, Pornhub, technology, video, virus, warning
I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

1

2 months ago

dependency, engine, facts, Google, hope, humor, i, internet, know, knowledge, learning, maybe, never, search, search engine, six, technology, things
You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, humor, just, know, life, much, nothing, overwhelm, procrastination, productivity, relaxation, sit, tasks
I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, after, all the time, another, concurrently, crisis, forever, humor, i, life, life struggles, multiple, once, struggles, think, time, used, wrong
I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

0

2 months ago

coping, escapism, humor, just, order, reality, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

46 shares on X this month:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

11 shares on X this month:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Just landed via Discord:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Trending via Discord:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Just landed via Discord:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

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