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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Making waves on YouTube:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Making waves on Discord:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Making waves on Instagram:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Just shared via Slack:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Trending via Messenger:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Breaking via Messenger:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Seen just now on Discord:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

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How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of official job title skepticism! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe your 'boss' is just a really convincing cosplayer? 🤔 Remember, anyone can claim to be a boss, but leading with style and influence is what truly makes you the boss! 💼💪"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being social sucks all my energy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I love it when God gives me money.

Trending via Instagram:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Just landed via Discord:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Breaking via X:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Trending via X:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Going viral on Instagram:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Breaking via Messenger:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

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