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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of being just a step away from riches, but alas, that pesky detail of actually having the money! 💸💰 Hang in there, friend, you're almost there…almost. 😄"

am, aspiration, being, financial, humor, i, irony, joke, money, need, rich, step, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

0

2 months ago

burial, business, correct, cremation, customer, customer service, customers, fired, funeral, funeral home, home, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, misunderstanding, service, smoking, term, wanted, workplace
Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

0

2 months ago

before, biblical, biblical loophole, dog, doggy, doggy style, dogs, follow, heaven, humor, joke, loophole, marriage, me, sex, sin, style
This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

0

2 months ago

boredom, frustration, humor, meeting, museum, office, painting, sarcasm, satire
I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

0

2 months ago

favor, forehead, humor, order, people’s, sign, sticking, warning
Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

0

2 months ago

distance, entertaining, evidence, humor, insane, media, observation, people, safe, social, social media, Twitter
I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

0

2 months ago

believe, i, life, me, nap, someone, take, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

58 shares on X this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Making waves on Telegram:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Spotted on X:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Trending via Slack:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Broadcasted on Threads:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Shared recently on Slack:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Trending via YouTube:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨