Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.
  • I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.
  • Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?
  • Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”
  • I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.
  • I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.