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Commentary:
Ah, yes! The modern female calendar: tweet volume peaks at certain hormonal vortexes, alarming friends and baffling enemies alike 📆📱🚨 #EmotionallyUnstableSocialMediaCEO

always, concern, cycle, friends, humor, i, media, mood, over, relationship, social, social media, tell, Tweets

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

29 shares on X this month:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

39 shares on Threads this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

38 shares on Reddit this month:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Just shared via YouTube:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Just landed via Snapchat:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Freshly posted on X:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Just shared via Discord:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Just shared via TikTok:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨