Commentary:
When you tweet, it’s like a game of "Who Wants to Be a Critic?" starring everyone! 🎭📲
Funny Tweets quotes
I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.
Commentary:
Just when you thought it was safe to scroll… BAM! Bonus content! 😂📜🚀
Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?
Commentary:
Sounds like your tweets got more personality than my laundry hamper! 😂🧦 #TweetTherapist
I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.
Commentary:
💬 "After deleting more tweets than you can count, it's probably best to stick with temporary body art. Who needs a permanent reminder of their questionable choices, right? 😅💉 #TattooRegrets"
“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.
Commentary:
"Oh, reading 20 books, huh? That’s cute. Try keeping up with my 50,000 tweets marathon! 📚🤳 Who needs novels when you have Twitter for instant literary gratification? 🐦😂"
Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.
Commentary:
"Twitter is like a swamp. 🐸 You wade through the muck, dodging toxic tweets left and right. But once in a while, a gem surfaces like a delicious fly, and you strike with the speed of a hungry frog! 🦟✨ #TweetTreats"
Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.
Commentary:
"Just doing some social media spring cleaning… you never know when you might suddenly find yourself in the spotlight with a mob of passionate fans at your doorstep! 🧹📱 Better to be safe than sorry, right? 😅 #DeletedTweets #FamousLoveLife"
I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.
Commentary:
Ah, yes! The modern female calendar: tweet volume peaks at certain hormonal vortexes, alarming friends and baffling enemies alike 📆📱🚨 #EmotionallyUnstableSocialMediaCEO
Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.
Commentary:
Throwback to the days when mice were the real influencers! 🐭🧀🎉