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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Just shared via X:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Trending via Facebook:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Just landed via WeChat:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Trending via Threads:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Spotted on Slack:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Just shared via Discord:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Going viral on Messenger:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

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I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”
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Commentary:
Oh, the dreaded "at your age…" It's the medical equivalent of being handed the senior citizen discount card without warning. 🧓👴 But hey, at least now you can milk it for all it's worth – demand extra soft pillows and all the Jell-O you can eat! 💊😂 #AGEisJustaNumber

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

26 shares on X this month:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

51 shares on Threads this month:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,800

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Trending via X:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Trending via WeChat:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Just shared via Discord:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Going bananas on X:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

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