Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Spotted on Slack:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Just landed via Facebook:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Breaking via X:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Breaking via Discord:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Making waves on Reddit:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive chef who believes in making a grand entrance – not just with the aroma of their cooking, but also with the symphony of clanking pots and pans! Who needs a full kitchen orchestra when you've got this culinary maestro in action?"

chef, cook, cooking, cooking fail, dinner, fail, food, humor, kitchen, mess, pan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I was dropped as an adult.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Breaking via Discord:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Just shared via X:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Just shared via X:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

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