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Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive chef who believes in making a grand entrance – not just with the aroma of their cooking, but also with the symphony of clanking pots and pans! Who needs a full kitchen orchestra when you've got this culinary maestro in action?"

chef, cook, cooking, cooking fail, dinner, fail, food, humor, kitchen, mess, pan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

1 month ago

1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

1 month ago

autocorrect, burn, frustration, hello, humor, invention, person, should, technology
Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

2 months ago

care, comfort, home, humor, i, relaxation, self-acceptance, ugly
Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

1 month ago

amazing, clothing, comfort, decision, humor, life, life decision, night, onesy, pee, practicality, question, sleepwear, struggle
Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

2 months ago

Adam, bible, eve, florence, Florence and the Machine, humor, machine, music, religion, said, sexuality, unnatural, vibrator, wordplay, wrong
Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

1 month ago

cat, comfort, face, humor, pet, putting, relaxation, self-care, soft, softness

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Live now on Instagram:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Going viral on TikTok:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Spotted on Slack:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

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I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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