Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.