Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, luck – the ultimate knuckle sandwich! Who needs violence when you've got fate throwing punches at you? Just remember to duck and weave, because luck can be a bit of a wild swinger!"

chance, conflict, humor, irony, luck, mind, violence

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

0

2 months ago

agree, agreement, amazing, bra, clothing, comfort, feeling, humor, least, men, relief, take, thing, women
I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

0

2 months ago

construction, doing, good, i, job, know, me, meant, today, walking, yell
Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, difficulty, early, easy, going, problem, problems, routine, set, sleep, sleep difficulty, sleep problem, struggle, whole
Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

0

2 months ago

away, escape, escape room, everyone, getaway, humor, just, plans, room, solitude
I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

0

1 month ago

adulting, bills, business, date, due, due date, i, just, know, minding, next, payment, procrastination, responsibility, surprise, thing
I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

0

2 months ago

change, coping, divorce, drink, humor, i, life, life change, marriage, realization, relationship, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

88 shares on Discord this month:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

34 shares on YouTube this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just shared via Twitch:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Going viral on Slack:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨