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Commentary:
"Ah, luck – the ultimate knuckle sandwich! Who needs violence when you've got fate throwing punches at you? Just remember to duck and weave, because luck can be a bit of a wild swinger!"

chance, conflict, humor, irony, luck, mind, violence

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

2 months ago

communication, humor, personality, podcast, shy, transformation
I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

2 months ago

dad, exaggeration, family, humor, i, just, small, sneeze, think, village
If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

2 months ago

attraction, crush, dating, distraction, end, ever, humor, listen, podcast, relationship, someone, want
Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

3 months ago

ability, car, car ride, hours, never, patience, quiet, ride, silence, speak, stare, staring, underestimate, window
Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

2 months ago

beauty, body, body image, humor, image, inner, inner beauty, light, much, scale, self-reflection, standing, thinking, weight, wisdom
Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

2 months ago

body, body function, burp, comedy, deep, digestion, feel, function, humor, i, lighthearted, loss, lost, love, me, self, self humor, weight, weight loss

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

43 shares on Threads this month:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I woke up alive again.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Shared recently on X:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Just shared via YouTube:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Just shared via Reddit:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨