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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Just shared via YouTube:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Going bananas on Discord:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Just shared via Facebook:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Seen just now on Discord:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Trending via Messenger:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about aging with a humorous warning from a doctor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no! Sounds like a serious case of "getting older by the minute" syndrome! 🕰️🤔 Remember, we are all suffering from this condition known as life… with no known cure! Stay strong and embrace the wisdom that comes with each passing year! 🧓🏼👵🏼🎉 #AgingGracefully

aging, alarm, condition, doctor, humor, i, irreversible, life, terminal, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Discord this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

59 shares on Discord this month:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

88 shares on X this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Trending via Snapchat:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Live now on Pinterest:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

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