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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

29 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Just landed via Messenger:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Breaking via Threads:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Just shared via WeChat:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Reported on Telegram:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

4 months ago

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone's attempting acrobatics without leaving their couch! 🤸‍♂️ Fracturing laziness sounds like a productive injury, but dislocating interest? That's a whole new level of dedication to procrastination! 🤪 Keep pushing through, you're bound to find that sweet spot where laziness and interest meet. Just maybe not all at once next time! 😅

dislocation, fracture, humor, i, interest, laziness, procrastination

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

29 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Trending via Snapchat:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Making waves on Slack:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

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