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Commentary:
Looks like someone's attempting acrobatics without leaving their couch! 🤸‍♂️ Fracturing laziness sounds like a productive injury, but dislocating interest? That's a whole new level of dedication to procrastination! 🤪 Keep pushing through, you're bound to find that sweet spot where laziness and interest meet. Just maybe not all at once next time! 😅

dislocation, fracture, humor, i, interest, laziness, procrastination

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

3 months ago

anger, body, chihuahua, feel, frustration, humor, i, little, much, personality, pet, small, small body
(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

4 months ago

age, coworker, family, humor, joke, me, son, workplace, year, younger
My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

1 month ago

body, brand, fashion, Ferrero, food, Gucci, humor, joke, outfit, style
I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

1 month ago

angel, chat, coordination, fate, future, future husband, group, group chat, guardian, guardian angel, humor, husband, i, love, relationship, trying, wonder
Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

4 months ago

August, door, farewell, goodbye, hit, humor, let, month, sarcasm
I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

2 months ago

alcohol, am, announcement, fight, humor, irony, proud, sobriety, struggle, winning

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

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Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

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“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

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I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Trending via Telegram:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Trending via YouTube:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Just landed via Messenger:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

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I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

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I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

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