Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.
  • If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.
  • Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.
  • I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.
  • I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.
  • Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a  cool piano.”