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Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Spotted on Slack:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Just landed via X:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Breaking via Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Just landed via Messenger:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

4 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny and playful quote about self-deprecating humor and feeling unappreciated.

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Commentary:
"Being nice is just my default setting because let's face it, my face does most of the talking for me 😜🤷‍♂️ #uglybutkind"

choice, hate, honesty, humor, i, interaction, nice, people, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, ugly

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26 shares on WeChat this month:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

62 shares on Slack this month:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

33 shares on X this month:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Just shared via YouTube:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Trending via Pinterest:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Just shared via Instagram:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Making waves on Reddit:

That friend who asks too many personal questions? He’s not concerned. He’s collecting.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Just landed via Snapchat:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Shared recently on Slack:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

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Activity Log ✨

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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