Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,975

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Spotted on Facebook:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Just landed via Messenger:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Just shared via TikTok:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Live now on X:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Making waves on Messenger:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's be real, those animals always steal the show! 🦁🐊 Who knew nature's fierce side could be so entertaining? #TeamAnimal"

animal, animals, attack, entertainment, humorous, i, nature, never, rooting, seen, single, video

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

0

4 days ago

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women
Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

0

3 months ago

analogy, balloon, communication, finds, hope, hoping, humor, internet, media, message, person, right, social, social media, Twitter
I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

0

1 month ago

cake, complaint, expense, expensive, fat, humor, i, life, lived, longer, people, pet, pets, weight, wish
Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

0

2 months ago

burrito, call, comfort, food, good, guy, humor, i, late, late night, me, need, night, over, relaxation, sleep, tuck
All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

0

4 months ago

argument, arguments, communication, humor, naked, relationship, solution, trick
I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

0

5 months ago

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

99 shares on Slack this month:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

91 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

25 shares on Slack this month:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Going viral on YouTube:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Shared recently on X:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨