Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Swing into action! 🎢 One minute you're up, the next you're down…you might as well hang a 'No Vacancy' sign on that emotional rollercoaster! 🤪 #MoodSwingChampion"

emotions, humor, i, mood, mood swing, personality, self-deprecation, swing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

0

4 months ago

coping, coping mechanism, cry, emotional, emotional release, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, lot, mechanism, needs, parking, parking lot, release, therapy
Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, fingers, humor, joke, language, language joke, playful, puns, t, tiptoe, wordplay
Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

0

2 months ago

cause, even, freddie, freddy, Freddy Krueger, fun, fun loving, guy, horror, humor, krueger, lot, loving, murder, nickname, people, tell
Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

0

2 months ago

couch, day, day off, home, humor, i, leisure, procrastination, relaxation, screen, sit, stare, staycation, thinking, TV, wait, while, work
Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

0

3 days ago

affection, animal, booster, day, day improvement, funny voice, humor, improvement, interaction, just, kind, looking, love, miraculous, mood, mood booster, much, pet, pet interaction, saying, stuff, voice, weird
Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, offended, relationship, someone, treat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

57 shares on Discord this month:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Spotted on YouTube:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Live now on Slack:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Freshly posted on Discord:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Shared recently on Threads:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Live now on Telegram:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Seen just now on Slack:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨