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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Jan 12, 2026

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Shared recently on Discord:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Just landed via Messenger:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Breaking via Threads:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Spotted on X:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

3 months ago

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, a classic case of mid-life amnesia 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♀️! As we age, the struggle shifts from fulfilling our dreams to trying to recall what those dreams were in the first place. It's like playing a game of memory with our own ambitions 😂!

every, existential, goals, humor, i, identity, just, life, life goals, middle-aged, nostalgia, person, remember, want, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

2 months ago

activity, cleaning, ever, every, humor, meditative, mindfulness, perfect, person, plan, planning, reflect, revenge, single, something, time, wronged
Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

2 months ago

always, autumn, beverage, coming, cozy, forget, forgetfulness, habits, hot, hot beverage, i, myself, seasonal, seasonal habits, self-care, tea, time, winter
If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

1 month ago

4, band, Beatles, conversation, humor, imagine, just, lads, Liverpool, music, ready, sound
Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

2 months ago

balance, decision, focus, girlfriend, humor, job, love, quitting, relationship, thinking, work life, work-life balance
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

3 weeks ago

alive, app, digital, digital pet, going, humor, irony, keep, mobile, mobile app, needs, offline, pet, someone, Tamagotchi, technology, virtual, virtual pet
Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

2 months ago

bathe, even, fish, humor, joke, life, marine, much, stink, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Just shared via TikTok:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Making waves on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Trending via X:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Shared recently on X:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Spotted on Twitch:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Going viral on Telegram:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Going viral on Messenger:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

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