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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,078

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You are the Monday of my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

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I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.
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Commentary:
Oh, nothing says romance like a good ol' rap beef! 🎤🥩 It's like a musical love letter filled with sass and shade, set to a sick beat. Who needs flowers and chocolates when you can have diss tracks and Twitter rants? It's a modern-day Romeo and Juliet saga, with a hip-hop twist! 💔🎶 #RapLoveSongs

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

51 shares on Threads this month:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

50 shares on Slack this month:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

93 shares on Discord this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

83 shares on X this month:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

73 shares on X this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,906

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Making waves on Discord:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Spotted on Reddit:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Breaking via Messenger:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Freshly posted on Threads:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Breaking via YouTube:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

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