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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Seen just now on YouTube:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Spotted on Threads:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Spotted on Twitch:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

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I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, nothing says romance like a good ol' rap beef! 🎤🥩 It's like a musical love letter filled with sass and shade, set to a sick beat. Who needs flowers and chocolates when you can have diss tracks and Twitter rants? It's a modern-day Romeo and Juliet saga, with a hip-hop twist! 💔🎶 #RapLoveSongs

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Spreading quickly via X:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Seen just now on Slack:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Just landed via Instagram:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

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