Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.
  • If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.
  • I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.
  • Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.
  • As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”
  • For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.