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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Trending via X:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Spotted on Messenger:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Breaking via Messenger:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Just landed via Slack:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

2 months ago

0

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a motivational coach when you've got a peer pressure squad standing by? 😂👯‍♂️ Just remember, choose your peer pressure pals wisely – might end up trying skydiving or eating exotic foods before you know it! 🪂🍜"

activity, doing, fun, fun activity, i, influence, me, motivation, need, peer, peer pressure, pressure, procrastination, self-improvement, social, social influence, someone, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, age, call, humor, identity, just, me, minute, name, self-deprecation, someone, whatever, where, wrong, wrong name
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

0

2 months ago

beer, hear, hold, humor, i, judgment, know, much, needs, online, people, perception, pressure, self-judgment, world, yourself
If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

0

2 months ago

bird, humor, i, ID, know, playful, poop, revenge, sarcasm
I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

0

2 months ago

adopt, driveway, highway, humor, i, own, raise, ready, responsibility
Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

0

2 months ago

account, advice, ask, bank, bank account, before, bridge, bridge troll, buy, buying, easy, financial, financial advice, humor, i, me, money, need, riddles, something, spending, too, troll
Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

0

1 month ago

am, doing, done, going, humor, i, just, keep, literally, motivation, obsession, productivity, self-improvement, stuff, unfortunately, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I would prefer not to.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Going viral on Threads:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Live now on YouTube:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

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