I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.