Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Just landed via Slack:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Spotted on Slack:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Trending via YouTube:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Trending via YouTube:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the rare and elusive "triple-checking my mistakes" approach – a foolproof way to really make sure you've messed up properly! 😂🙈 Who needs to learn from errors when you can master them repeatedly, right? Remember, practice makes perfect… mistakes! 🤪 #OopsIDidItAgain

humor, i, just, know, learning, mistake, repetition, same, sure, times

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

24 shares on Threads this month:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

27 shares on X this month:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Just landed via Facebook:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Spotted on Messenger:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Just landed via Facebook:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Just shared via Instagram:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Spotted on Discord:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Trending via WeChat:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

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