Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.