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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Just shared via Telegram:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Making waves on YouTube:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

0
I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic remix inception! 🔄🎶 It seems this remix went full circle and ended up right where it started. Imagine the confusion of the DJs spinning this one at the club! 😄🎧 #RemixFail

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

100 shares on Discord this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Being awake is the worst.

Making waves on Telegram:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Going viral on WeChat:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Just landed via Telegram:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Seen just now on Reddit:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Live now on TikTok:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

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