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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Spotted on Telegram:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Just shared via Reddit:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Going viral on Facebook:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Just shared via Messenger:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Spotted on WeChat:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

2 months ago

0

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Starting the day with low expectations is a bold move, like playing the 'worst-case scenario' game on expert mode! 🙈 But hey, at least you can only go up from there, right? Maybe today will surprise you with a sprinkle of unicorns and rainbows! 🌈🦄"

assume, day, horrible, humor, i, morning, morning routine, optimism, perspective, routine, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

0

2 months ago

anything, behavior, choose, commentary, humor, identity, internet, online, online behavior, people, social, social commentary, strange, stupid, stupidity, want
It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

0

2 months ago

clothing, funny statement, humor, i, joke, nothing, radio, statement, wit
In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

0

3 days ago

culture, family, food, hate, humor, sarcasm
Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

0

2 months ago

dating, forever, honeymoon, humor, humor quote, lasts, love, marriage, partner, phase, pick, relationship, right, romance
If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

0

2 months ago

buy, club, destroy, enough, fundraising, humor, Monday, money, raise, together, weekend, wish
Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

0

2 months ago

aisle, aisles, around, confusion, everyday, everyday life, gangster, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, store, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Discord this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How is it still this week?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Breaking via Threads:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Spotted on Messenger:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Shared recently on Discord:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

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