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Commentary:
"Someone clearly misunderstood the concept of 'taking a red-eye.' 🌚💼 Nevertheless, avoiding pink eye is definitely the way to go on flights! 👁️✈️ #TravelWoes"

avoidance, eye, flight, humor, i, joke, much, pink, pink eye, red-eye, travel

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Threads this month:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Live now on Reddit:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Trending via Instagram:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Making waves on YouTube:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Just shared via Twitch:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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