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Commentary:
"Someone clearly misunderstood the concept of 'taking a red-eye.' 🌚💼 Nevertheless, avoiding pink eye is definitely the way to go on flights! 👁️✈️ #TravelWoes"

avoidance, eye, flight, humor, i, joke, much, pink, pink eye, red-eye, travel

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57 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

71 shares on Slack this month:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

85 shares on Threads this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

91 shares on Discord this month:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Breaking via YouTube:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Live now on Pinterest:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Just landed via Instagram:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Spotted on WeChat:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Spotted on Slack:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨