Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.
  • I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
  • Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
  • They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!
  • It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.
  • If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.