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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Going viral on Twitch:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Just landed via Messenger:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Shared recently on Reddit:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Broadcasted on X:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Breaking via Twitch:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Just landed via WeChat:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Just shared via Threads:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Trending via Instagram:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎪🤡 "Well, watch out folks! We've got a potential circus recruit here ready to trade in daily inconveniences for some serious acrobatics and clowning around! 🤹‍♂️ Step right up, join the fun, and leave those minor annoyances behind! Who knew the big top was the ultimate escape plan?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Just landed via TikTok:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Live now on Instagram:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Going viral on Reddit:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Just landed via Telegram:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Going viral on Twitch:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Spotted on Messenger:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Making waves on Twitch:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Reported on Pinterest:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

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