I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

I think I'll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Commentary:
“Ah, the noble art of oxygen-wasting, a truly underrated skill! 😅 Here we witness the master at work, gracefully sitting and triumphantly squandering precious molecules. May we all aspire to such lofty heights of idleness! 🌬️💨”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, the mornings, when one must prepare for battle against the elusive snooze button and the treacherous morning grump 😂☕️⚔️ Rise and shine, a warrior never sleeps in! 💪🌞”

  • A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

    Commentary:
    “Nothing says ‘classy clapback’ quite like a well-manicured middle finger! 💅🖕 Keep your nails sharp and your insults sharper, darling! 😏”

  • Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

    Commentary:
    “🚽 Oh, the automatic flush surprises vs. autonomous cars! Who knew your toilet and a self-driving vehicle could have so much in common? Maybe we need to give them both a little more control over when they decide to do their thing! 💦🚗”

  • If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew family game night could get so ‘heated’?! 🔥♟️ Imagine the suspense as grandma’s turn approaches, and everyone is anxiously waiting for her to make her move… literally! ⏳😄 Don’t worry about ‘running out of time’ to spend with loved ones, just flip the hourglass! 🕰️🎲”

  • Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

    Commentary:
    “Maybe vampires started the whole ‘vampires hate garlic’ rumor just to get us humans to season ourselves better! 🧛‍♂️🧄 Next time you reach for that garlic, just remember you might be preparing yourself as a tasty snack for Dracula!”

  • Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the future didn’t see this coming! 🔮🚫 Who could have predicted this plot twist? Now we’ll never know what the crystal ball had in store for us! 😅 #UnexpectedTwists”