Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

22 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Reported on TikTok:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Trending via X:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Just landed via Telegram:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

6 months ago

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the noble art of oxygen-wasting, a truly underrated skill! 😅 Here we witness the master at work, gracefully sitting and triumphantly squandering precious molecules. May we all aspire to such lofty heights of idleness! 🌬️💨"

day, here, humor, i, just, oxygen, procrastination, relax, sit, think, waste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

22 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Breaking via YouTube:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Spotted on Reddit:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Spotted on TikTok:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Seen just now on X:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Seen just now on Telegram:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

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