Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Going viral on Discord:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Going viral on TikTok:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Broadcasted on X:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Making waves on YouTube:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Shared recently on Threads:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Spotted on X:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about realizing happiness is just about the paycheck.

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Commentary:
"Who needs career goals when you can have those sweet, sweet paychecks rollin' in! 💸😂 #WorkSmartNotHard"

ambition, career, humor, i, job, money, paycheck, thought, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

93 shares on Threads this month:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Just shared via X:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Freshly posted on Slack:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Live now on Messenger:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Just landed via Discord:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Live now on YouTube:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Broadcasted on X:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Just shared via Instagram:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨