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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

7 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Trending via Telegram:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Trending via Twitch:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Jan 22, 2025

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to a good night's sleep was hiding in divorce papers all along? 😴💔 Sweet dreams, ex-couples! Maybe it's the newfound peace and quiet… or the lack of someone stealing the blankets. 🛌🤣 #SleepingLikeABaby"

asleep, baby, change, divorce, easily, fall, humor, i, irony, person, relationship, rest, sleep, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

7 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Seen just now on Slack:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Spotted on Messenger:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Making waves on Instagram:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Just shared via WeChat:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Just shared via Slack:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

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