Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old struggle between slicing through life's challenges like a badass superhero and trying not to accidentally shred your Amazon package 🦾💥📦 At least Wolverine never had to worry about misplacing his scissors!"

Amazon, anything, claws, convenience, humor, i, opening, package, reality, violence, want, Wolverine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

0

2 months ago

dress, girl, girls, happier, happiness, pocket, pockets, science
Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

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2 months ago

chips, eating, entertainment, humor, multitasking, snack, subtitles
I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

0

2 months ago

angry, found, funny observation, humor, i, observation, people, pole, statistics, survey, tent
Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

0

2 months ago

asked, baby, coworker, hold, humor, i, me, new, prepared, question, saying, today, unexpected, wanted
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

0

3 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch
You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

0

2 months ago

baller, bawler, crying, emotions, humor, i, know, lot, me, misunderstanding, someone, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Spotted on Discord:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Just shared via Instagram:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Spotted on Facebook:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨