Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old struggle between slicing through life's challenges like a badass superhero and trying not to accidentally shred your Amazon package 🦾💥📦 At least Wolverine never had to worry about misplacing his scissors!"

Amazon, anything, claws, convenience, humor, i, opening, package, reality, violence, want, Wolverine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

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2 months ago

car, disconnect, humor, level, self-deprecation, singing, talent
It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

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2 months ago

assume, assumption, boss, employee, employees, humor, insane, job, motivation, office, paycheck, reason, truly, work, working
Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

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2 months ago

context, ETA, humor, i, pass, patience, request, this too shall pass, time, too
Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

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2 months ago

activity, awkward, cowgirl, date, dating, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl
Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

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2 months ago

breakfast, convenience, culinary, food, food humor, hold, humor, just, pancake, pancakes, syrup, waffle
I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

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2 months ago

always, bottle, cheap, drinking, family, hosting, house, humor, i, visit, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

71 shares on Threads this month:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

91 shares on Slack this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Spotted on Telegram:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Shared recently on Slack:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Trending via Discord:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Going bananas on Threads:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Trending via YouTube:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨