Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I love change, as long as everything stays exactly the same' approach. 🤣 Embracing change while seeking comfort in familiarity, a true masterpiece in contradicting oneself! 🔄🤷‍♂️"

alter, change, consistency, contradiction, different, humor, i, irony, nothing, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

2 months ago

bed, dangerously, edge, foot, humor, i, life, live, living, living life, night, over, risk, sticking
Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

1 month ago

bro, entertainment, foreign, foreign language, frustration, humor, language, Netflix, speaking, streaming, subtitles, translate
You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

1 month ago

allowed, body, body confidence, confidence, excuses, feeling, feeling sexy, humor, miss, miss work, self-care, sexy, should, work, workplace
If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

1 month ago

adventure, factory, fast, food, ID, imagination, marinara, river, spaghetti, tube, Wonka
Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

1 month ago

attention, blue, galaxy, humor, overheating, owner, planet, plate, small, tectonic, tectonic plate, vehicle
Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

2 months ago

animals, being, funny situation, giraffe, humor, imagination, imagine, nausea, situation, throw, throw up

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Live now on Slack:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏