Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Uh oh, don't want those aliens to think we're part of the craziness happening on Earth! 🌍👽 Better keep our intergalactic street cred intact, am I right? 😂 #EmbarrassingPlanetProblems"

alien, aliens, being, deny, dumb, embarrassing, front, here, humor, i, intergalactic, planet, travelers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

0

2 months ago

advice, am, culture, humor, i, Jedi, man, me, men, older, older man, pop, pop culture, say, talking, teachings, tell, wisdom, Yoda
Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

0

2 months ago

cheeseburger, ever, food, happiness, humor, joke, nobody, satisfaction, upset
Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

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2 months ago

animal, anticipation, culture, goat, good, happen, humor, jurassic, Jurassic Park, meme, park, patience, patiently, pop, pop culture, something, waiting
“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

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2 months ago

alone, courtesy, day, extend, hope, humor, i, leave, me, procrastination, same, seize, thank
I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

0

2 months ago

cinema, days, days off, desire, entertainment, feast, five, fun, high, i, laptop, relaxation, return, row, too, where, work
Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, choices, fun, humor, i, irresponsible, irresponsible adult, life, life choices, responsibility, responsible, responsible adult, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Slack this month:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

48 shares on TikTok this month:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Making waves on Telegram:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Making waves on Instagram:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Just landed via Instagram:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Just shared via Facebook:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Just landed via Messenger:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨