I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

They should name a personality disorder after me.