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Commentary:
"Oh, imagine the morning commute in a tank! 🚗💨 No need to honk when you can just roll over the slowpokes in front of you. Just watch out for those pesky speed bumps… and your boss's parking spot! 🛢️💥 #TankGoals"

aggressive, drive, humor, i, ID, less, morning, relief, stress, stress relief, tank, transportation, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

1 month ago
another, breaks, coffee, drink, humor, i, routine, take, time
Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

1 month ago
ad, before, distraction, entertainment, humor, necessary, online, online video, saying, shut, shut up, skip, skipping, video, YouTube
New year update: losing everything but weight.

1 month ago
change, everything, fitness, humor, losing, new, new year, resolution, update, weight, year
Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

1 month ago
chuck, Chuck Norris, comedy, fire, humor, joke, norris, piece, rub, strength, together, toughness, wood
Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

1 month ago
battle, challenges, club, conflict, fight, fight club, fighting, humor, know, life, life challenges, rule, rules, secrecy, struggles
Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

1 month ago
distraction, excitement, exciting, finish, humor, i, idea, new, new idea, spontaneity, thought, why

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Going viral on Slack:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Trending via YouTube:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Trending via Discord:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Spotted on Instagram:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

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I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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