Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Trending via X:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Live now on Facebook:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Seen just now on YouTube:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Breaking via WeChat:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Just shared via Threads:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about babies emerging feet first, humorously suggesting they wear their mom as a hat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, it seems like babies are born with a sense of fashion flair right from the start! 👶🎩 Just imagine little newborns strutting out into the world with their moms as the latest trend in headwear. 😄👒 It's safe to say that being a hat has never looked cuter or more unexpected! 🤣 #FashionForwardBaby

baby, childbirth, feet, hat, humor, mom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on YouTube this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

42 shares on Slack this month:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Going viral on TikTok:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Making waves on YouTube:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Trending via TikTok:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Just landed via WeChat:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Trending via WeChat:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Going viral on Discord:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Just landed via Messenger:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

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