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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has copied:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has copied:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has copied:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has shared:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has viewed:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has shared:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Threads:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Shared recently on Instagram:

How come it’s called β€œthrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Trending via Snapchat:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Seen just now on Instagram:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

β€œThug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Going viral on WeChat:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.
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Commentary:
Well, well, well, it seems like babies are born with a sense of fashion flair right from the start! πŸ‘ΆπŸŽ© Just imagine little newborns strutting out into the world with their moms as the latest trend in headwear. πŸ˜„πŸ‘’ It's safe to say that being a hat has never looked cuter or more unexpected! 🀣 #FashionForwardBaby

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has copied:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has viewed:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has copied:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has shared:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has shared:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on TikTok:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Spreading quickly via X:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Trending via X:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Reported on Messenger:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Trending via Messenger:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Reported on TikTok:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Seen just now on Telegram:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Trending via Pinterest:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

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