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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Spotted on WeChat:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Going bananas on Instagram:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Spotted on Facebook:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Just shared via WeChat:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

2 months ago

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, it seems like babies are born with a sense of fashion flair right from the start! 👶🎩 Just imagine little newborns strutting out into the world with their moms as the latest trend in headwear. 😄👒 It's safe to say that being a hat has never looked cuter or more unexpected! 🤣 #FashionForwardBaby

baby, childbirth, feet, hat, humor, mom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

2 months ago

annoyed, belief, believe, first sight, humor, i, love, relationship, sight
The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

6 months ago

around, body, feel, feeling, humor, literally, moon, ocean, science, think, tide
The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

2 months ago

anxiety, everyone, gathering, horror, introduce, introduction, meetup, pressure, social
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

2 months ago

best, conflict, enemy, friend, friendship, guess, humor, i, irony, own, self, worst
If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

2 months ago

allowed, am, choice, freedom, ham, humor, i, life, life choice, self-acceptance, spiral
I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

2 months ago

chocolate, diet, ever, fitness, food, food humor, health, humor, i, irony, joke, makers, powder, protein, protein powder, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Making waves on Discord:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Just landed via Facebook:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Breaking via Threads:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Spotted on WeChat:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Going bananas on Discord:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Going viral on Instagram:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Just landed via X:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

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