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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Spotted on X:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Going viral on Reddit:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Trending via TikTok:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Just shared via TikTok:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Going viral on Instagram:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

2 months ago

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, it seems like babies are born with a sense of fashion flair right from the start! 👶🎩 Just imagine little newborns strutting out into the world with their moms as the latest trend in headwear. 😄👒 It's safe to say that being a hat has never looked cuter or more unexpected! 🤣 #FashionForwardBaby

baby, childbirth, feet, hat, humor, mom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

2 months ago

food, humor, media, photography, pics, sandwich, social, social media, unsolicited
Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

2 months ago

arrangement, dating, dynamics, having, hobby, housing, humor, interest, joke, living, living arrangement, person, place, relationship, roommate, social, social dynamics, stay
I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

3 months ago

clean, cleanliness, couch, disgusted, disgusted stare, hate, home, house, humor, i, laziness, messy, messy house, procrastination, relax, stare
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

2 months ago

attention, autograph, awkwardnes, celebrity, hate, humor, i, interaction, just, me, people, picture, request, social, social interaction, stare, want
Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

2 months ago

authenticity, fake, humor, identity, lock, lock screen, media, people, recognition, screen, social, social media, technology
Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

2 months ago

20, am, anything, cancellation, day, excited, excitement, extra, extra time, finding, free, getting, ground, humor, i, joy, life, management, meeting, minutes, penny, small, small joy, someone, time, time management, unexpected, unexpected free time, work, work life

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

59 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Live now on Instagram:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Going viral on X:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Shared recently on Slack:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

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