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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Just landed via Discord:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Just landed via Reddit:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Broadcasted on X:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Just shared via X:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Witty and playful quote about failure, highlighting humor in trying skydiving.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, that's a real eye-opener! 🪂🤣 Looks like some people are just meant to keep their feet on the ground. Maybe they can try skygazing instead! ☁️✨ #BetterSafeThanSorry

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

25 shares on X this month:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

25 shares on Discord this month:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Making waves on Telegram:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Live now on WeChat:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Spotted on X:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Going viral on Slack:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Breaking via Instagram:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Trending via WeChat:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

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