Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Mar 1, 2026

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Breaking via Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Making waves on Instagram:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Seen just now on Threads:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

1 month ago

Clever and funny quote about wanting to be in bed twice at once.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of multiplying our cozy comfort! 🛏️😴 Imagine the possibilities: double the snuggles, double the naps, but still only one snooze button to press! 😄 Who needs to be in two places at once when you can just be in bed twice? #SleepGoals"

bed, humor, i, ID, places, relaxation, sleep, twice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on X this month:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

92 shares on Instagram this month:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

97 shares on X this month:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents think they know me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Just shared via Instagram:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Going bananas on Discord:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Shared recently on X:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Spotted on Twitch:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Breaking via Discord:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

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