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Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of multiplying our cozy comfort! 🛏️😴 Imagine the possibilities: double the snuggles, double the naps, but still only one snooze button to press! 😄 Who needs to be in two places at once when you can just be in bed twice? #SleepGoals"

bed, humor, i, ID, places, relaxation, sleep, twice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

1 month ago

actually, can opener, cool, ever, everyday, everyday life, humor, kitchen, kitchen tool, life, opener, practicality, relationship, sex, tool, works
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

1 month ago

awkward, childhood, confidence, ever, freak, girl, grow, humor, i, ID, little, quirky, self-identity, weird
Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

1 month ago

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I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

1 month ago

am, dream, dream woman, enter, forest, hear, humor, i, nature, raven, ravens, shouting, sudden, surprise, surreal, unexpected, warning, woman
I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

2 months ago

always, boundary, growth, humor, i, know, knowledge, limits, obedience, obey, personal, personal growth, self-awareness
So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

1 month ago

avocado, ball, balls, collection, cool, cool discovery, discovery, food, food joke, humor, i, inside, joke, little, set, think, whole, wooden, wooden ball

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

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My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

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Shared recently on Facebook:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Live now on TikTok:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Just landed via TikTok:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Breaking via Reddit:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Just shared via Instagram:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

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If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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