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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Just landed via X:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Trending via LinkedIn:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

2 months ago

0

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of multiplying our cozy comfort! 🛏️😴 Imagine the possibilities: double the snuggles, double the naps, but still only one snooze button to press! 😄 Who needs to be in two places at once when you can just be in bed twice? #SleepGoals"

bed, humor, i, ID, places, relaxation, sleep, twice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

0

2 months ago

clutter, frustration, kitchen, lid, need, organization, simplicity, Tupperware
At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, day, end, end of day, going, humor, irony, routine, time
Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

0

2 months ago

bag, Bob, convenience, discover, end, food, hungry, new, open, opening, resealable, snack, surprise, tortillas
I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

0

2 months ago

broke, financial, financial struggle, humor, i, joke, memory, money, remember, self-deprecating, self-deprecating humor, still, struggle, well, why
Cool times create cool guys.

0

2 months ago

confidence, cool, cool guy, cool times, create, fun, guy, guys, humor, lifestyle, times
Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

0

2 months ago

computer, duct, duct tape, humor, life, problems, reboot, rest, solution, tape

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Messenger this month:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

85 shares on X this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Live now on TikTok:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Freshly posted on X:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Going viral on Reddit:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Trending via Telegram:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Just shared via Reddit:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Spotted on Threads:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

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