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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,790

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Trending via Instagram:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Just landed via WeChat:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Going viral on Instagram:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Trending via Twitch:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Well, looks like I need some monetary motivation to keep you in mind! 💭💰 Who knew my wallet could influence my thoughts! 🤑😆"

humor, i, joke, money, relationship, sarcasm, start, thinking, thought, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

2 months ago

change, comedy, drama, fall, humor, life, seasons, spring, summer, today, used, winter
I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

2 months ago

advice, am, capable, humor, i, independence, life, need, own, ruining, sarcasm
We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

1 month ago

ads, commercials, entertainment, fee, humor, just, month, monthly, monthly fee, need, pay, service, shows, streaming, streaming service, subscription, us
I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

2 months ago

couch, exercise, humor, i, laziness, procrastination, sad, treadmill
Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

1 month ago

age, always, humor, me, older, people, personality, weird
People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

1 month ago

always, conversation, debate, hear, humor, just, people, perspective, Satan, saying, today

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Just shared via Telegram:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

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Activity Log ✨

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

That fight could’ve been an email.

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

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If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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