Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, if that's the case, I hope I have an umbrella handy! ☂️💩 Talk about starting off on the wrong foot…or should I say, wing? 🐦😆 #BirdieBurn"

bird, humor, i, insult, joke, person, relationship, sarcasm, shit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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94 shares on X this month:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

85 shares on Threads this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Spotted on Telegram:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Breaking via Discord:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Trending via Threads:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Spotted on X:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Spotted on X:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Just shared via Discord:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨