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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Making waves on Instagram:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Spotted on Messenger:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Freshly posted on X:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Spotted on WeChat:

Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Spotted on Instagram:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If I were God, I'd totally pull a Monday move and be like 'Animals? Yeah, I made those. What they did next? Couldn't tell ya, must've been a wild party!' 🐾🎉 #MysteriousCreator"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Just shared via Reddit:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Live now on Telegram:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Spotted on Telegram:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Just shared via TikTok:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Shared recently on Threads:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Seen just now on TikTok:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Shared recently on X:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Going viral on TikTok:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

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