Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Talents: eating!
  • Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.
  • When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.
  • I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.
  • Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.
  • I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.