Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Snails sure have mastered the art of surprise entrances! 🐌 Who needs stealth when you've got snail speed on your side? 😂 Watch out for those sudden snail cameos, they're even faster than you think! 💨"

coming, ever, humor, just, nature, observation, slow, snail, surprise, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

0

2 months ago

again, before, humor, life, naked, neighbor, observation, say, window
If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, awkward, high, high school, humor, interaction, keep, me, nostalgia, public, school, social, social interaction
I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

0

2 months ago

completion, dedication, humor, i, management, minutes, procrastination, task, time, time management, weeks, worrying
My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

0

2 months ago

communication, contain, frequency, hear, humor, men, relationships, theory, voice, voices, women’s, women’s voice
I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

0

5 months ago

else, humor, i, ID, identity, irony, personality, regret, self, somebody
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

0

2 months ago

back, diet, fitness, follow, humor, irony, loss, media, social, social media, unfollow, weight, weight loss

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Telegram this month:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

54 shares on Discord this month:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Just landed via Telegram:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just shared via YouTube:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Just landed via Instagram:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Just landed via Threads:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Going bananas on Twitch:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Live now on Snapchat:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨