Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: should you make your own sandwich or have someone else do it for you? 🥪 Turns out, the same applies to other areas of life too! 😏 Just remember to use fresh ingredients in both cases 😉🔥"

activity, always, better, comparison, else, food, humor, relationship, same, sandwich, self, sex, someone, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

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2 months ago

communication, couple, couple humor, eye, eye roll, funny relationship, goal, humor, relationship, relationship goal, roll, rolls, sarcasm
We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

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2 months ago

able, activity, bar, drink, gender, gender role, humor, island, love, Love Island, men, party, role, should, show, social, social activity, sport, sports, television, television show, watch, watching, watching party
89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

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2 months ago

ago, communication, daily, daily life, five, great, humor, husband, i, leave, life, marriage, me, means, minutes, relationship, sarcasm, time, timing, wife
I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

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2 months ago

cold, comedy, dramatics, exaggeration, goodbye, humor, i, illness, man, man cold, sarcasm, story, tell, world
Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

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2 months ago

compatibility, conversation, date, humor, just, knows, meet, music, over, relationship, social, someone, song, songs, talk, want
Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

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2 months ago

bride, guest, humor, marriage, relationship, threat, veiled, veiled threat, wedding, wedding guest, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

48 shares on Discord this month:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

12 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

68 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Going viral on Facebook:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Shared recently on Threads:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Going viral on Discord:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Trending via Telegram:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨