Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: should you make your own sandwich or have someone else do it for you? 🥪 Turns out, the same applies to other areas of life too! 😏 Just remember to use fresh ingredients in both cases 😉🔥"

activity, always, better, comparison, else, food, humor, relationship, same, sandwich, self, sex, someone, yourself

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18 shares on Threads this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

89 shares on Threads this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Making waves on Discord:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Spotted on Facebook:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Going viral on Messenger:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Live now on Instagram:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Making waves on Instagram:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Trending via YouTube:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨