Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.
  • You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.
  • In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.
  • You’re so productive for your wage.
  • When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.
  • Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.