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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Spotted on X:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Spreading quickly via X:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Going viral on Telegram:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Live now on TikTok:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Spotted on Reddit:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Breaking via Telegram:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of silence! 🤔 If a man stays quiet, he's seen as thoughtful and reflective. But if a woman stays quiet, well, brace yourself, because the storm is brewing! ⚡️💁‍♀️ Watch out for that silent thunder, folks! ⛈️😄"

big, communication, humor, man, relationship, silent, thinker, trouble, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job ruined my life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Going bananas on X:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Spotted on Slack:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Just shared via Discord:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Live now on Facebook:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

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