If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.