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Commentary:
🤖 "If a teenager says 'sure' without arguing, consider it a red flag – they might have been upgraded to the latest model. Android 2.0: now with advanced compliance settings and improved battery life!" 🤣👾

Android, arguing, check, communication, ever, humor, just, parenting, sarcasm, say, something, sure, technology, teen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, day, doing, doing nothing, enough, hours, humor, laziness, me, nothing, procrastination, time
They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

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6 months ago

bro, control, humor, literally, media, mind, mind control, program, programming, satire, TV, TV program, us
It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

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3 months ago

eating, expand, food, friendship, fun, humor, important, life, people, relationship, sharing, snack, social, social life, taste
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

0

6 months ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe
Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

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2 months ago

animals, humor, music, ocean, sing, someone, told, whale
Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

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2 months ago

adults, grow, grow up, humor, irony, maturity, people, sarcasm, seen, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

71 shares on Threads this month:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Seen just now on Twitch:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Going viral on Facebook:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Going viral on Facebook:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨