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Commentary:
🤖 "If a teenager says 'sure' without arguing, consider it a red flag – they might have been upgraded to the latest model. Android 2.0: now with advanced compliance settings and improved battery life!" 🤣👾

Android, arguing, check, communication, ever, humor, just, parenting, sarcasm, say, something, sure, technology, teen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal antics, antics, bill, dog, financial, financial woes, humor, pet, pet humor, responsibility, sigh, woes
Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

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2 months ago

dating, humor, just, late, love, maybe, patience, relationship, schedule, soulmate
If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

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4 months ago

cheating, ever, feel, forgive, humor, just, people, relationship, remember, sarcasm, stupid
Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

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3 months ago

3, asking, doing, employee, employees, happy, hiring, humor, i, interview, job, jobs, let, me, please, reference, references, same, start, talk, think, workplace
Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

0

2 months ago

attraction, awkwardness, challenge, easy, flirt, flirting, humor, person
90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

0

2 months ago

90, anxiety, happen, humor, i, irony, life, never, seems, things, working, worry, worrying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Spotted on YouTube:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Live now on Slack:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Just landed via Twitch:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Seen just now on Threads:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Trending via Messenger:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Spotted on Discord:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨